I am told to never look to tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. But how can I not? I am a planner, I look to the future for guidance in today. Without looking into tomorrow, I cannot know how to react in today. Receiving stressful news relating to someone near and dear to me has my stomach in knots. It seems as though one bad decision in my life will follow me through his bad decisions for the rest of my days. Am I really strong enough to keep up the fight? Why am I constantly being tested with my skill of wills? I love deep enough and I fight hard enough, and most days it is enough. Sadly, today is not one of those days.
I am borderline silent tears that I refuse to let fall, so instead I smile as hard as I can and look into the mirror. From that smiling face and those shining eyes, one lone tear falls from my eye so fast I can't catch it fast enough. But it's enough to make the rest stop, realize it isn't worth it, my tears can't stop it anymore than I can prevent the lone tear from falling. Instead, I sit and I hope for a better tomorrow and smile through my tears.
