Relationships...in so many cases seem to define people. I have met so many new people on my path of freedom and in so many cases have been introduced as any of the following: 'the mother of', 'the daughter of', 'the son of', 'the child of', 'my boss is' etc.
Why is it that we find ourselves needing to define ourselves by others????
I want to end this right here, right now. For so long I have too been one of those people, but here, tonight i am me. My name is not important to those who don't actually know me, but I am me, college educated, single female, mother of an amazing 5 1/2 year old girl who attends parochial school and has such a loser father that i have the audacity to make him prove other wise. But at the end of the day, I am me, 5' 6" runner of 5K, friend of many, often mouthy, but so very loyal oh and such the typcial irish female!
To start a bit of a thought that has been running through my head recently, enough that i was blogging at work today in an email to myself at home, i want to share my continued thoughts on relationships that has been building over the past weeks.
An ending to any relationship has its mourning period. I was told recently that within a relationship once it ends, there is always two very distinct perspectives on the relationship. There is one person who has already mourned the 'loss' of the other person and has finally made the last break complete. The other person is left holding out their hands and finding them empty and maybe more than a little lost and broken hearted. Then there comes two sides to every story on just how to describe the relationship and when the mental break began.
I am 29 years old with less than a month to go before i say good-bye to my 20s and hello to the 30s. i have never officially been an age in the 30 range, but mentally I've been here for quite some time. Its just about time my body is catching up with my mind. I have yet one more failed relationship to add to my list and this time, like every other time, i am the person who has already mourned the loss and have left the other person with his hands face up empty handed wondering why. This time around though, there seems to be something missing.......
it's mostly that fear that i am single, the fear that i may not find the one who makes my heart flip and the fear that i may never fall madly in love. maybe, just maybe second best isn't so bad after all. but then i wake up from my selfish reality and know that second best is just the first losers point of view. When have I ever accepted being the first loser? ummm.. yes readers, NEVER!
So will carry on, I will put myself out there for Mr. AMAZING WONDERFUL and FANTASTIC and hope he realizes just what an amazing person he is getting in return to all my sacrifical offerings. by this i mean shorter showers, no longer leaving the curling iron plugged in all day, or the toaster(whooops!!! that one i did today for the 4th time!)
I am going to wow this world with my mommy expertise and my ability to almost wink, along with the oh so tempting newly famous turtle tattoo. (check back for pics!!!) I am a lover of life, keeper of mother earth and greener than green. Regardless of the men that may cross my path, I love me and I love my life.
