The battle I fight as a mom is something completely different than the battle I fight as a woman. I still feel the tension of fights to come and battles to wage even though the outcome is no longer in my control. I try so hard, every single day, to do the right thing for you, Emma, and thankfully you don't realize there is a fight going on surrounding you. I try, so hard, every single day, to keep you safe, to keep you thinking as a 5 1/2 year old little girl is to think, to play only as kindergarten children know how. I also know that you realize there is a tension that surrounds you and you also have the smarts to know the tension is a direct correlation to you and to me.
Soon, my little girl, this fight will be over yet no one will have won. I only pray your life will be a bit easier; hope you will be the little 5 1/2 year old girl who gets to be 5 1/2, where your toughest decisions for the day will be what to have for breakfast or who to sit with for lunch or what color marker you choose to start off your picture. Life won't always be this easy, choices are not so black and white; for now little one, your mommy will keep you safe or die trying.
I told you tonight, I have you walk in front of me so I can always see you; you pointed out that when I'm not behind you, I can't see you. A simple statement like that holds so much more meaning for me than you. But you, my precious little girl, you know it's as simple as that, I can't see you if I am not behind you. NO matter what, no matter where you are in life, my little girl, I will always be behind you, and yes you will always be my little girl.
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